Richard Cory

Whenever Richard Cory went down town,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from head to crown,
Clean favoured and imperially slim.

And he was always quietly arrayed,
Always a gentleman when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses,when he said,
"Good morning," and he glittered when he walked.

And he was rich - yes, richer than a king -
And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat, and cursed the bread,
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.
                                                                      -Edwin Arlington Robinson 



How wrong people are, to judge us just from our demeanour......when, the side of ourselves that we reveal to the world, is merely a shade, perhaps a farcical one, of the spectrum of hues that colour us. Each of us has a story to tell - the truths about ourselves that we know in the darkest depths of our hearts, no matter how much we deny them or try to keep them in concealment from the world. We are all Richard Cory(s), envied by others, yet, troubled by our own secrets and facades.

Aman ki asha.....

Sarhad ke jharokhon se dekhti hoon main
dekhti hoon usi lalimaa ko
ek nayi subah ko aaghosh mein lete hue
dekhti hoon usi balkhati jheel ko
khilkhilati hui hariyali ke sahare mudte hue
dekhti hoon vahi lehrate khet
vahi kaliyaan jinka khilna
bahar ke aghaaz  ki dastak deta hai
dekhti hoon azad gagan mein
panchiyon ke ik jhund ko
bewatan
jo na mere asmanon ka hai na uske
dekhti hoon bazaar ki usi hulchul ko
maidan mein khiladiyon ke usi junoon ko
dekhti hoon use jo mujh jaisa lagta hai
sunti hoon uski boli jo kahi-suni lagti hai
dekhti hoon usi sunehri shaam ko
uske aangan mein baste hue
dekhti hoon usi chand ko
raat ka daaman sajate hue
dekhti hoon
dekhkar lagta hai
sheeshe mein jhaank rahi hoon
sunti hoon
door kahin se bandook ki goonj
sunkar nazraane par parda padh jaata hai......

Night

The night is so short that the moonlight has barely embraced it, it has barely kissed the dark shores of the sky.....

Midnight Maudlin Fits

Feeling suffocated by the silence of the night, of the vaccum in life. Crying in the middle of the night, convulsive sobs that noone can hear. Because noone is around. Feeling lonely, wishing for somebody to be troubled by your pain. Not wanting to be left all by yourself to handle every damn thing that comes your way.

Giving up on life, wanting to kill yourself and attain liberation from all Maladies. Then suddenly remembering all your big ambitions, a newfound love for them welling up inside yourself, suddenly becoming too selfish to throw away your most cherished things, becoming hopeful again, very slowly falling in love with life again......

Reminded of things to be done the next day, all the meloncholy vanishing in a moment as if it were just a maudlin fit. Wiping your tears away, swollen-up eyes stinging, head aching like its going to crack open under the Pressure. Washing your face, humming yourself to sleep, feeling relieved, peaceful after the catharsis......

Solitude

Feeling the rythmic beat of your heart
your slow breath
listening to the soft rustling of leaves
to the breeze whispering sweet nothings.

Reminiscing pleasant memories...
...an absent-minded smile dancing on your lips
looking at the inky sky, deluged by the cool moonlight
lost in somebody's thoughts, longing for company
to share your quiet moments with...

Random Musings

Living each day seems to be a chore, an unwanted, much resented burden thrust upon. Every crack of dawn ushers in a night of an Anticipation - for that unknown magic cure-all for all of Life's ailments, for the unwonted Tranquility and Calm that will silence all disturbing noises of the pathetic Human Life - that never abates, whose purpose is undefined, whose end is indefinite, one that is overwhelming, that seems to contend with the Horizon in its infinities. With every passing second, with every breath quicker than the other, it only mounts. Each hour feels like an eternity.......it is a daily ritual that is exhausting. Yet the perpetual Wait goes on till the faintest orange glow in the sky is snuffed out by the velvety darkness, and the chirping of birds followed by a stunned silence.........

Random Musings

The times when you want to get away from the cruel, materialistic world, you want to break free of all bonds that restrict you, tie you down to the ground, that don't let you spread your wings and soar high into the sky of endless, liberating freedom.The times when you are tired of constantly having to live up to expectations, some, of your own and some, of others'.The times when all you want to do is dwell upon your thoughts without any noisy interruptions from the world outside, peaceful and tranquil in your solitude.The times when you don't care about the judgemental world, when you want to get rid of the facade that you have to put up everyday, the mask of false emotions, of plastic smiles and of unreal, mirthless laughter.The times when none of your far-fetched dreams and ambitions matter to you.........when everything that had felt so important untill yesterday, suddenly seems meaningless, when your very idea of certain things changes.........the Religion seems to be nothing more than a rigid diktat written by a bunch of moralists; the Nation seems to be just one among the many divisions man has created to mark boundaries of empires, each ruled by power-hungry individuals, either in the garb of People's rule or by irrational use of military muscle and assumed authority; the Language suddenly means more than just words and funny looking symbols, it seems to be an abstract entity, which, besides encompassing all emotions, also gives them a voice, an expression, it seems to go beyond phonetics to include all those unspoken things conveyed through a smile, a touch, a mere exchange of looks; the Expression of the Great Love means more than materialistic gestures, worldly rituals and does not require one to be explicit and obvious; the Family and Relations seem bondages, mistakes and obligations you have to fulfill without questioning their truth, importance and need.........All those times when you want to let go, fall into Oblivion, wish for eternal freedom and relief from the unending agony of Life, from being ravished by the world, from the angst at injustices perpetrated by the world on Man, everyday, and soak in the Calm while you have the opportunity, before any worldly reminder rudely jerks you out of your peaceful trance............